Suggested First Date Recommendations:
Pre-date Ritual: Before your date, engage in activities that help you relax and feel your best. Whether it's exercising, meditating, listening to music, practicing yoga, or playing with your pet, find what works for you to calm any nerves and set a positive tone for the evening.
Keep it Short: Aim for a date duration of around 1 hour to 90 minutes at most. This time frame allows for enough interaction to gauge compatibility without feeling pressured or overwhelmed.
Plan Your Entrance and Exit: Have a plan for what you'll do before and after the date. Be prepared to talk about where you’re coming from and have a plan about where you’re going when the date is over (even if it is to go home and take a nap or feed your cat). Be ready to share a bit about yourself and what you're looking forward to before diving into the date.
End on a High Note: Wrap up the date while you're both still enjoying each other's company. Leaving on a positive note leaves room for anticipation and sets the stage for future interactions.
Choose Seating Wisely: Opt for seating arrangements that encourage closeness, eye contact, and easy conversation. Look for places with comfortable seating where you can sit side by side or walk together or easily look at one another while you're conversing. Consider the noise level of the venue to ensure you can hear each other clearly.
Outfit Options: Keep your wardrobe simple by having three go-to outfits for any type of date: fancy, casual, and athletic. This way, you'll always feel prepared and confident in your attire.
Master the Art of Flirting: Focus on three key elements: listening, storytelling, and body language. Be attentive to your date's responses and engage them with genuine interest. Remember, it's about creating a connection rather than just exchanging information. Set the flirting scene and use the "SET" approach to flirting (as suggested by Damona Hoffman in her book F The Fairytale) Smile, Eye Contact, Touch. These subtle cues can convey warmth and attraction, enhancing the overall chemistry between you and your date. Don’t force it, flow with it! Use casual touch to drive connections in safe zones like a shoulder, hand, arm or elbow.
Take it Slow: If the first date goes well and you're both interested in continuing, consider limiting your dates to no more than twice a week for the first month. This allows space for a healthy relationship to develop naturally and gives you time to see how your potential partner shows up for you.
If you leave the date feeling curious still about the person, give it a second shot and schedule a second date. Continue this until the third date, if you still feel curious about the person after a third date, there is a good potential for something more long term.
Sex on the First Date: Whether or not to have sex on the first date is a personal decision. If you're aiming for a lasting connection, it's important to communicate openly with your partner about your expectations, including whether you're exclusively seeing each other and if you're comfortable with intimacy at this stage.
By following these recommendations, you can approach your first date with confidence and create an enjoyable experience for both you and your potential match. Many of these tips come from dating expert Damona Hoffman and Love Science researcher and matchmaker, Paul Brunson.
Hoffman, Damona. F the Fairytale: A Modern Woman's Guide to Finding Love. Mango Media, 2020.
Brunson, Paul. It's Complicated (But It Doesn't Have to Be): A Modern Guide to Finding and Keeping Love. Gotham Books, 2013.